The Essential Maid of Honour Duties Checklist

Being asked to be the maid of honour is one of the greatest privileges in a wedding—an honour that symbolises deep friendship, trust, and support. But with this special title comes a significant set of duties and responsibilities. From the moment the bride says "yes" to the final goodbye after her special day, the maid of honour plays a vital role in helping everything feel seamless, joyful, and as stress-free as possible for the bride.

Whether you're a first-time maid of honour or you’ve been asked before, this comprehensive guide will walk you through every stage, from pre-wedding planning to post-celebration wrap-up. Get ready to plan parties, handle emergencies, give emotional support, and help create unforgettable memories!

Every wedding is different, and so is every bride. But there are some tried-and-true duties that most maid of honours take on—think of this as your go-to checklist. Typically, the maid of honour is responsible for an extensive list of duties that span months, weeks, and days leading up to the wedding, and even after the occasion ends. While each bride may have different expectations, let’s have a closer look at the traditional duties associated with the role.

Check-In with the Bridal Party

It’s your job to be the liaison between the bride and her bridesmaids. Keep everyone in the loop regarding events, dresses, deadlines, and costs. Setting up a group chat can help avoid confusion.

Be proactive in communicating updates and reminding bridesmaids of their responsibilities. Answer their questions when you can, and discuss issues with the bride only when necessary. As the go-between, your goal is to keep the planning smooth and drama-free. Consider hosting a bridesmaid meeting to kick things off and build friendships.

Go Wedding Dress Shopping

Accompany the bride on her wedding dress hunt. Offer your honest but kind opinion and take plenty of photos if allowed. Your support here is emotional as much as practical. Help the bride narrow down options, keep track of appointment details, and celebrate her final choice. Don’t forget to bring tissues, the moment she finds "the one" is usually an emotional moment for everyone!

Help Choose Bridesmaid Dresses and Accessories

Coordinate with the bride on bridesmaid dresses, including helping to choose a colour scheme and arranging fittings. Ensure all bridesmaids are comfortable with the choices and are on schedule to get their attire in time. You may also need to research dress options within the bride's vision and budget, organise alterations, and assist with finding matching shoes and jewellery.

Keep inclusivity and comfort in mind when suggesting styles. A confident bridal party starts with attire that makes everyone feel great. Your guidance can also help reduce friction or insecurities within the group, making sure everyone feels included and valued!

Plan the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party

Planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party is among your biggest responsibilities. Work with the bride to determine what kind of celebrations she wants, whether that is a spa weekend or a city break.

Negotiate bridesmaid duties to share the load and stay within budget. Choose dates, book venues, organise activities and favours, and coordinate food and drink. Always keep the bride’s personality and preferences in mind. These gatherings are meant to honour her and create joyful memories with her family and closest friends. Include thoughtful touches like custom playlists or personalised accessories that will make the experience meaningful.

Lend a Hand with Wedding Planning

From venue scouting to invitation assembling, your bride may ask for your help on various planning tasks. Stay flexible and reliable.

You might find yourself helping draft the wedding website, researching local florists, or attending tastings. Try to be available when you can, and keep the bride organised with timelines, spreadsheets, and notes. Your ability to be both creative and logistical will be a huge asset. Recording important information in a wedding planner or digital folder can also help track progress, budgets, and vendor information efficiently.

Serve as the Point of Contact

Vendors and bridesmaids may have questions, and you’ll often be the go-to person. Keep a list of key contacts and important dates so you’re always prepared.

Your job is to handle important issues before they reach the bride. Whether it's clarifying rehearsal times or ensuring the caterer has dietary notes, your presence as an informed and responsive contact will keep things running smoothly and allow the bride to focus on other aspects. Being well-prepared and calm under pressure will inspire confidence in everyone around you and ensure the bride can rely on you.

Give Support to the Bride

Listen, offer perspective, and be a calming presence. Wedding planning can be overwhelming, and a supportive maid of honour can make all the difference. Sometimes, what the bride needs most isn’t logistical help but emotional reassurance. Validate her feelings and help her refocus on the joy ahead.

Prepare a Speech

Your speech is one of the highlights of the reception. Write it well in advance and rehearse it to ensure it's heartfelt, concise, and entertaining. Include stories that reflect your relationship with the bride and celebrate their love story. Keep your tone warm, joyful, and uplifting for the guests. Don’t forget to express your happiness for the couple and wish them well in their new life together.

Help to Finalise the Song List

Music sets the tone for both the ceremony and reception. While the couple might choose their favourite songs, you can help by organising the playlist, ensuring smooth transitions, and checking timing for important moments like the reception entrance, first dance and cake cutting. Coordinate with the DJ or band to finalise the song list and make sure everyone is on the same page regarding timing and volume.

Check-In with Vendors

In the final weeks leading up to the wedding, it’s helpful to contact vendors to confirm details. Double-check timelines, arrival times, payment schedules, and any special instructions they need. This step helps avoid last-minute hiccups and takes pressure off the bride. Keep a spreadsheet or document with all vendor contacts and agreed-upon services. If needed, step in as the liaison on the day of the wedding, so the bride isn’t interrupted with logistical questions.

Help with Honeymoon Packing

With so much going on, the bride might overlook essentials for her honeymoon. Offer to help her create a packing list and gather travel documents, outfits, toiletries, and medications.

You can even surprise her with a few thoughtful items like a journal, mini travel kit, or snacks for the plane. Helping her feel prepared and excited about the honeymoon ensures she leaves the wedding stress behind and starts her new chapter as a wife.

Help with DIY Projects

If the bride chooses to include DIY or handmade invitations, decorations or favours, you’ll often be asked to help assemble, craft, or even design them. Whether it’s tying ribbons, hot-glueing centrepieces, or stamping envelopes, your participation can save the bride countless hours and reduce her stress. Being hands-on in this way also adds a deeply personal touch to the celebration, and you can also treat it like a special girls' night. You may also offer to store or transport finished items to keep things organised.

Prepare a Wedding Emergency Kit

This is a must-have for any wedding day! Assemble an emergency kit that includes safety pins, fashion tape, pain relievers, mints, snacks, deodorant, tissues and tampons. You never know what might be needed in the moment. Keep it within reach throughout the day to handle any surprises quickly and efficiently.

Attend the Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is often an emotional and celebratory gathering. Your presence as maid of honour is essential, as it shows your support for both the couple and their families.

Use this time to meet key family members and get everyone in a celebratory mood. It’s also a good chance to review the wedding day schedule and answer any last-minute questions from the bridal party.

Help Set Up the Venue

Assist with setting up and decorating the reception. This might include setting up tables, placing centrepieces, arranging signage, or checking lighting. Work with vendors or venue staff to ensure everything is as planned. Having extra hands can make the setup less time-consuming and allow the bride to stay focused.

Prepare a Morning Wedding Schedule

Prepare a timeline for the morning of the wedding, including hair and makeup appointments, dressing time, photos, and transportation. Share the schedule with the bridal party to keep everyone on track. Building in buffer time is key to staying relaxed and on schedule. Reassure the bride that the day is running smoothly so she can enjoy the experience.

Drop Off Items at the Venue

Ensure decorations, favours, and other pre-prepared items make it to the wedding venue. If the couple has a guestbook or signage, make sure it’s placed correctly. Create a checklist ahead of time so nothing is forgotten. This includes emergency kits, card boxes, seating charts, place cards and any sentimental items the couple wants displayed.

Handle the Wedding Rings and Wedding License

Coordinate with the couple to ensure the wedding rings and license are present and stored safely on the day. Keep the license in a secure folder if you’re asked to handle it and coordinate with the officiant if necessary. Also, make sure the wedding rings are in the best man’s possession before the ceremony!

Be a Point of Contact for Vendors and Guests

As you want the bride to stay relaxed and enjoy the day, you may be the point of contact and be bombarded with questions from vendors and guests. Provide vendors with a printed schedule and your contact information.

Stay calm and solution-oriented if any issues arise. Whether it’s adjusting seating or tracking down a missing item, your responsiveness helps the event stay on track.

Delegate Tasks

As chief bridesmaid, delegate tasks amongst the bridesmaids and groomsmen to ease the load. These tasks may include collecting last-minute items, distributing bouquets, and assisting with wardrobe issues.

Remind the Bride to Eat

In all the excitement, brides often forget to eat. Make sure she eats a good breakfast and drinks enough water before walking down the aisle. Pack her favourite protein bar or a light snack and keep it nearby for later. Avoid anything that could stain her dress or upset her stomach.

Serve as the Bride’s Stylist

Throughout the day, you will serve as the bride’s stylist, as well as be on hair and makeup patrol. Adjust the train for photos, check for lipstick smudges, and help with makeup touch-ups. Keep blotting papers or powder on hand to prevent shine and spare hair pins to fix any loose hair strands.

Provide Emotional Support

Whether it’s happy tears or last-minute nerves, be there with hugs, tissues, and words of encouragement. You know the bride best, so you’ll recognise when she needs reassurance or a break. Keep her centred and remind her to soak in each moment.

Take Informal Photos

While a photographer will cover the day, snap some moments behind the scenes during hair and makeup, before the ceremony, and during private moments. These informal photos often become some of the bride’s favourites.

Keep the Bride’s Personal Items Safe

Collect her phone, lipstick, perfume, and other personal items in a chic clutch or wedding handbag. Keep it nearby throughout the day. You’ll likely be asked to fetch things throughout the day, so having everything in one place saves time and stress.

Walk Down the Aisle

You’ll likely walk down the aisle with a groomsman before the bride makes her grand entrance. Smile, use good posture, keep a steady pace, and stay confident. This is a proud moment, so enjoy it! You’re representing the bride and setting the tone for the ceremony.

Hold the Bride’s Bouquet

During the ceremony, take the bouquet when the bride reaches the altar. Hand it back once the ceremony concludes. Hold it carefully and ensure it stays fresh and intact, especially during photos afterwards.

Sign the Marriage Schedule

At the end of the ceremony, you’ll likely be asked to sign the marriage schedule as one of the witnesses. This is a legal requirement in the UK. By signing the marriage schedule, you officially verify the marriage ceremony and its legality.

Collect and Organise Wedding Gifts

As the celebrations continue at the reception, there are more duties for the maid of honour to attend. You may be responsible for collecting and organising wedding gifts as guests arrive if a gift box is not set up.

Sit at the Top Table

Traditionally, you’ll be seated at the top table during the reception with the newlywed couple, their parents, the bridesmaids and groomsmen. If the couple decides to have their own table, you’ll be seated among the guests at a separate table near them.

Give Your Speech

When it’s time to give your speech, remember to smile, make eye contact with the couple and guests, and pace yourself. Don’t worry about it being perfect, authenticity is more impactful than perfection. Wrap up your speech with a toast and a warming wish or a quote that reflects the couple.

Provide Assistance in the Restroom

Wedding dresses are often elaborate and not restroom-friendly. Be prepared to assist the bride when nature calls. This might involve holding her train, veil, or even her bouquet. Make sure to bustle her dress before rejoining the crowd.

Dance The Night Away

When the formalities are over, hit the dance floor and celebrate! Your energy will encourage others to join and keep the party going. Dance with the bride, the bridal party, and even the guests. This is a time to let loose and savour all the hard work that’s gone into the day.

Your Questions Answered

Can a Bride Have a Man of Honour?

Absolutely! Gender doesn’t limit friendship. If the bride’s closest friend or relative is male, he can serve as a “Man of Honour” and fulfil all the traditional duties.

Does the Maid of Honour Give the Bride a Gift?

While it’s not mandatory, the maid of honour often gives the bride a gift as a thoughtful gesture. It can be something sentimental, useful, or personal. Some popular gift items include a wedding keepsake box, a jewellery set, or a relaxing spa day.

Does the Maid of Honour Have to Be Married?

No, a maid of honour does not have to be married! In fact, the term ‘maid of honour’ comes from the tradition of a maiden – a woman who has never been married.

What Is the Difference Between a Maid of Honour and a Matron of Honour?

Traditionally, the difference between a maid of honour and a matron of honour is their marital status. The title of maid of honour is usually kept for the bride's unmarried best friend or close relative who stands by their side during the wedding ceremony, while the matron of honour title applies if the bride's closest confidante is already married.

However, in recent years, couples are increasingly opting for the title “maid of honour” regardless of the chosen individual's marital status. Despite the different titles, the duties on the wedding day remain the same.

What if I cry during my speech?

It’s completely okay! Many maids of honour speeches are emotional, and shedding a few tears can make your words feel even more heartfelt and genuine. If you feel yourself getting choked up, take a deep breath, pause, and carry on. No one expects perfection—just speak from the heart. Keeping a tissue or two tucked in your bouquet or clutch doesn’t hurt either!

Do I have to be super organised to be a good maid of honour?

Not at all! What matters most is your heart, support, and willingness to help. A good maid of honour is someone the bride can rely on emotionally—not just logistically.